Ash + Willow Therapy
Specialized Counselling for Narcissistic Abuse, Coercive Control & Relational Trauma
gain clarity, release stress & create peace.
Are you constantly doubting yourself, feeling confused, flip-flopping between hope & fear, and vigilantly adjusting yourself to prevent someone you love from being controlling?
You’ve made it to the right online space.
develop insight, learn skills & feel better.
Are you feeling overwhelmed by shame, filled with anger, and burdened by an unrelenting need to be in control?
You’ve made it to a compassionate online space designed to help with this experience.
Scarlet Jaxen
MSW. BSW. RSW. Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician
Scarlet provides therapeutic support to people across British Columbia who are experiencing relational stress caused by controlling behaviors. Her counselling approach is informed by international experts of abuse including Dr. Ramani Durvasula and Dr. Allan Wade as well as over 15 years of professional practice.
Services
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Using evidence based counselling methods that are trauma informed, holistic, & relational. Scarlet will meet you where you’re at and move at the speed of trust to guide you through a process of self-inquiry so you can identify your needs and receive expert support to improve your wellbeing.
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Providing in-person sessions to people in Victoria & online sessions to residents throughout British Columbia including Vancouver, Kelowna, and Kamloops.
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$170/ 50-minute session
$260/ 80-minute session -
Most extended health plans cover counselling services. Please check with your insurance provider to see if services provided by a Registered Social Worker are included. You can also claim counselling services as a health expense on your income taxes.
Not A Typical Therapist
Scarlet won’t suggest traditional communication skills or emotional regulation techniques to change your relationship. Because these things will not work.
Scarlet’s Specialized Approach
Research: Identify patterns of controlling behavior.
Assess: What is changeable?
Release: Feelings of stress, anger, and grief.
Create: A customized plan to address your needs.
Restore: The balance of your nervous system (flight/freeze/fix/fight threat responses).
Develop: Specific skills to fulfill your needs and improve your wellbeing.
Cultivate: Acceptance of what you cannot change.
Support: Deepen your self-trust and internal leadership.
Location
In-person sessions offered on the 2nd floor of the Datatech Centre at 1095 McKenzie Avenue, Victoria, BC. Free 2hr parking is available. This space is accessible via an elevator or stairs. Virtual sessions are also offered to residents of BC.
What Clients Are Saying
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"Scarlet is one in a million. She cares, listens intently, and reframes things in a meaningful and practical way, while helping me look forward."
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"Truly a gifted counsellor. If you are suffering from narcissistic abuse, I highly recommend Scarlet."
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"Appreciated the guided way of working through the conversation rather than how I've experienced with others who expected me to arrive at the solutions I want to pursue all on my own."
Frequently Asked Questions
Still have questions? Book a free 15-minute consultation to get answers and gather a sense of how Scarlet works.
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A distinct type of emotional abuse that includes invalidation, manipulation, blame shifting, entitlement, and dominating behavior. It is a complex experience that causes people to feel confused, trapped, and disconnected.
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This is a pattern of psychological control and domination that uses fear and menace. It is a complex experience that causes people to feel criticized, monitored, isolated, triangulated, threatened, and forced.
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A type of psychological injury caused by repetitive and ongoing patterns of interpersonal stress. Often there is an asymmetrical power imbalance within the relationship. It may include attachment trauma, betrayal, infidelity, systematic relational trauma, and trauma across the lifespan.
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Specialized counselling can help you identify patterns of control, abuse, and relational trauma, process your experience, identify your needs, balance your nervous system, cultivate acceptance and improve your wellbeing.
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People respond to controlling behavior differently based on how their nervous system is organized, the power they are positioned with, and the support they have. Common symptoms can include hypervigilance, constant self-doubt, emotional distress, fear of expressing a need, and a sense of losing oneself overtime.
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Factors including personality, trauma, power and privilege will affect the way people who are controlling over others feel. Symptoms can include feelings of shame, remorse, rage, and feelings of helplessness. Feelings of entitlement, justification, blame and the belief that others caused them to be controlling may also exist.
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When controlling behaviors are present in a relationship the problem is not mutual and as such it requires a therapeutic response that isn’t neutral. Couples counselling is usually ineffective and can cause harm when abuse or coercive control is present. I encourage people to work separately as their needs will be very different.
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No. Going no contact is not always an option. There are ways to heal from narcissistic abuse, coercive control, and relational trauma that do not require you to go no contact. Together we can explore options to reduce harm and improve your wellbeing.
credentials & real accountability
